Tuesday 21st of July - Daily Trials with Mother and Others ........the night before at 9.30p.m. we receive a call from Mum that her around knee is hurting and asks what she can do, I suggest pain gel and painkillers, both of which Mum says she has tried, although she says she hasn't taken any painkillers since the morning. So just when you think hopefully the week is going to get a bit better, Tuesday morning my Mum rings me just as I am about to have breakfast, although I don't realise as my phone goes to answer phone while I am in the bathroom. I pick up the message from Mum "Hello Care-en (as she calls me when she really wants something) don't come rushing round but I am not well. Sheltered Housing have told me to stay in bed and rest my leg. Oh and I have also been told that the internet is being hacked in this area, so I need to go careful!" I ring back as soon as I can "What do you mean the Internet is being hacked?!" Mum - "Well I rang you to tell you about my leg but as I said I had a call about the Internet" Me - "When? Who from?" I ask quite irately but I am really getting wound up with the constant scam calls Mum is receiving. Mum replies "Calm down I didn't give him any bank numbers as You have my card!" (Thank goodness - I think!) "He only asked if I use my laptop or iPad for my banking or ordering on line and seemed disappointed when I said no." Me - "Hmm I bet he did! But you didn't tell him anything else?" Mum - "Well no apart from my name and I said I only use my iPad for Messenger to talk to my daughter Alison in America and my granddaughters in Blackpool, well not just Blackpool but you know what I mean" "Nooooh" I almost scream down the phone! To which my Mum replies "Oh don't be so dramatic I was only talking to the man, I can't be rude when someone asks me my name, can I? After all he was only making conversation." I know I should have more patience and realise for Mum who is feeling lonely it is just someone else to talk to, but still very annoying! "Anyway can you go to the Chemist and get me a support for my knee, it is really painful!" As I am meeting my sister to discuss what has been happening lately with Mum and the phone, in the hope we can find a solution, I tell Mum I will pop round just before lunchtime.
I meet with my sister, Michelle but we don't reach anything much, my sister thinks its funny that Mum rings with her tales, while I seethe. I do pick up a knee strapping and call round to see Mum and put it on. Whilst there I pick up a piece of paper and decide to write out the list the man at the bank suggested. I am in the bedroom with Mum, who is still resting, after me putting on the strapping. I start writing the list; "Do Not answer the phone to any number you do not know!" "Do Not give your name, address or any phone number to anyone" "Do Not under any circumstances give your bank details out!" Mum asks what I am writing and when I tell her, she says "Well that's absolutely Stupid!" I reply "I will tell you what is stupid, pressing the number 1 on the phone when told to do so, giving your name and other information out when asked!! I am Not the one that's Stupid, it's You!!" I have to leave before I explode, I really cannot believe that Mum keeps getting these calls and still answers the phone and gives out her personal information like giving kids sweets! Grrr! I spend the afternoon with Olivia and her Mum at a park in Lytham but don't say much about Mum when questioned as I know how hard it is for Jamie-Lee having buried her own Mum in March. On the way home we go past the house that they hope to move to and stop to speak to the builder working there. All seems good and there is a great sense of fun in the car as I drop them off.
I have only just met up with Gary at Curry's to look for a new TV, as ours has given up the ghost, when Jamie-Lee rings to tell me the House has fallen through, but for good this time as the Bank has said that the builders work isn't good enough and the house could be condemned!! I feel so sorry for Olivia and her Mum as they were feeling so happy about moving, but that's definitely off the cards now and I try to tell Jamie-Lee that things happen for a reason. Jamie-Lee and Olivia start unpacking the boxes that have been packed for almost 3 months!!
As its a lovely evening Gary and I decide to go for a drink in the Beer Garden at the local Pub, our first proper drink out since the pubs opened. Inside it seems very strange, as tables are not allowed to speak to others and there is a new way of ordering. Once outside it doesn't seem so bad and it is lovely sitting in the sun and chatting, although not so good thinking about going home to make tea. However we have more of a snack, which is probably a good idea as I obviously need to lose weight - according to Mum!
Wednesday 22nd of July - It's drizzling but I decide to go down to the park to do some gardening in case it stops raining, thankfully it does ease off. I ring Mum to ask how she is, "Yes, my knee feels a lot better, but I think I need a sturdier support. By the way I was thinking have you been to the Highfield Social recently? Only I haven't got my 2020 membership card yet as 'Lockdown' happened before I could pick it up." Me - "No we haven't been to the Highfield Social Club Mum, I honestly don't know whether it has even opened up yet as a lot of clubs haven't, even the Conservative Club isn't open yet." Mum - "Oh I thought everyone would be out in the Pubs and Clubs now." Me - "No Mum because there are still precautions and limits on the number of people you can have in such places. Plus don't forget from Friday everyone has to wear a mask when they go in to a shop or enclosed inside space." Mum - "Well that won't affect me, I cannot go out until August 1st!" Hmm don't I know it and add "Well you will have to wear a mask then, when you travel on a bus or go in shops." "Hmm I thought you might take me to B&M's to get some wallpaper for the front room." I cannot believe Mum is even considering redecorating as she still hasn't sorted out 80% of the stuff she moved into the bungalow, there isn't room to even stand a wallpaper table let alone anything else. I come off the phone shaking my head as another volunteer arrives at the park, takes one look at my red face (probably due to my blood pressure) and says "Mother?"
Thank goodness I am on the park as it gives me chance to work off my anger as I dig and weed the beds. Just as well. Thankfully Gary is off work this afternoon and we have decided to meet up with my cousin Maurice and his lovely wife Eleanor for lunch. We decide to meet at the Italian Orchard, our second visit this month but it is too good to pass up. Of course I do not mention it to Mum as I know she would not be happy that she couldn't join us. Still as Maurice mentions, my wonderful sister Alison will be arriving back from America next Monday. Alison is my youngest sister, who is the apple of my Mum's eye and can do no wrong, apart from the time she decided to emigrate to America ten years ago. However now her husband's grandchildren are growing up they have decided to return and live in Norfolk so they can see more of the family, well more of Paul's family anyway. Maurice and Eleanor ask about Mum, they know what she is like but like many others find my tales about Mum hilarious! Although Maurice adds that they realise it must be very trying for Gary and I, especially with the scam calls. Maurice asks me what I think would make Mum really happy? I honestly answer, "I truly don't know, as nothing is sadly good enough and add that Mum's song should be the Jenny Lind song 'Never Enough' from the film 'The Greatest Showman'" I think they get the message! We decide to change the subject and talk about the current Covid situation as many areas around Maurice and Eleanor's home are at risk of having a 'local lockdown' due to the rising number of Covid sufferer's, which is really worrying. Hmm it seems we are not 'out of the woods yet' and all hope a vaccine is found and agree that none of us will be going abroad anytime soon.
We all enjoy a delicious meal with wonderful company, as Maurice is always so funny and entertaining which provides a much needed break from everything happening with Mum. I ring Mum when I get home and say that I think she needs to change her number and make it x-directory. Mum replies "Oh no, I am sure there is no need for that. Michelle your sister said just to say why have they rung me because I am on the Telephone Preference List" I reply "Well like the Bank said you can expect many more calls of the same! Bye" I put the phone down before Mum says anything else.....
At least you have some normal times in your struggles with your mum
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